Just keep swimming!

Happy Monday! Sending you positive vibes to start off this week with a big smile.

I'd like to share with you one of my biggest passions in life: fitness! I am a gym chick! I love lifting as heavy as I can, I love eating clean & I love challenging myself a bit more every day. I have been lifting for more than 2 years and I love the way I feel after every workout. I was afraid of getting big and bulky and it took me a very long time to get into the weight training area because I felt uncomfy surrounded by so many guys. Finally decided to train with my brother and it was the best decision I've ever made! I haven't been able to hit the gym for 17 days now and I am trying not to go insane...I badly miss it! I can't exercise due to personal reasons...but I will be back on track very soon. I've lost muscle mass, my arms are skinnier and I haven't checked my back and shoulders because I don't want to break down and cry...LOL! Yes, it is my lifestyle...it means a lot to me! So I'd rather focus on getting better and fully recovering. How is your lifestyle? I am a fidget, I need new adventures and I hate routine. Time to get my feelings off my chest! As I told you, I am a dreamer and I dream a lot. I daydream too and my imagination is so strong that I enjoy every moment - of all kinds - I imagine so much...We talked yesterday. I could see his face and listen to his voice even when it was all written. I was so happy...but I woke up to a fucking hashtag "#allineed". He is driving me crazy. What does he want? Why is he so afraid? Why doesn't he fight for me? I've fought and I'm still fighting...I just need him to make his move now. I need a viking, one who fights untiringly for love or, at least, who tries a bit and has the balls to take the risk. I am controlling myself a lot not to affect him. He has been chasing a dream for a long time and I could not forgive myself if I crushed his plans...I know how badly he wanted to become an officer. I will hold back my feelings for him to help him make his decision. I don't know why he is doubting about his main goal...I don't think it is me though - I can't lie...part of me wishes it was me the reason why because it would mean he cares a lot about me.

Now here it goes my short story: She just needed him...Nothing else. Just a few kind words were enough to make her dream and give her a glimmer of hope. She tried not to beat herself up...but she could help but wondered what he felt for her...Did he still wanted to press his body against hers and kiss her all over? Did he still like her freckles? Would he ask her to repeat words like "baby" just because he loved the way she would pronounce it? What tortured her most was, rather, was feeling she was the only one fighting, not knowing if she had a choice, expecting he would do something amazing for her sooner or later and then facing mixed signals that would leave her devastated. Sometimes she thought: "Maybe I'm not worth enough for him to fight." She would cry and then collect herself just in case he called...She just wanted him to be happy and she needed to be ready to provide him with smiles, laughs and nice words. She was scared...but what she had inside and their special connection would not allow fear to defeat love. She knew how special she was...she wanted to believe he also did. Sometimes she felt she was drowning but her magic would remind her she was a mermaid, she could breathe under the sea! She would keep waiting..."Just ask me to go there", she would repeat herself every single day. She just badly needed an act of love & deep inside she still hoped he would visit her in January...He went through a lot, she knew that. So why would not he take the chance when he had nothing to lose? She promised she would never hurt him and she never lied.

I don't know how to take this song he posted some time ago... Well she was precious, like a flower She grew wild, wild but innocent A perfect prayer in a desperate hour She was everything beautiful and different Stupid boy, you can't fence that in Stupid boy, it's like holdin' back the wind She laid her heart and soul right in your hands And you stole her every dream, and you crushed her plans She never even knew she had a choice And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't Stupid boy Stupid boy So, what made you think you could take a life And just push it, push it around I guess to build yourself up so high You had to take her and break her down Well She laid her heart and soul right in your hands And you stole her every dream, and you crushed her plans She never even knew she had a choice And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't You stupid boy You always had to be right And now you lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive, oh ho Yeah, yeah She laid her heart and soul right in your hands, yeah And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans, yes you did She never even knew she had a choice And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't You stupid boy Oh, I'm the same old, same old stupid boy It took a while for her to figure out she could run But when she did, she was long gone, long gone

Enjoy the week, the weekend and...Christmas are around the corner!