Saturday, December 17, 2016

My life under the sea



Hello! This is my first post and I'd like to introduce myself a little bit. My name is Noe, I am a Pisces and above all a little mermaid lost in a sea of fish...Why? Because I am magic! I'm talking about my spirit, my soul, my heart and my inside. I am a very special and different girl.
I'm about to hit the thirties. People used to tell me I would become less passionate and softy with time...How wrong they were! I am extremely lively, a happy-go-lucky sort of girl. My positive energy is contagious. I am a smiler, a dreamer, a hopeless romantic and a warrior at heart. Yes, I act like a real baby sometimes -many times. I have a strong character, I don't know how to control myself and I just let myself go when it comes to feelings. I can be a real pain if I want something. I trust too much and open my heart easily when I feel some magic. I am crazy as fuck in a good sense. I act without thinking, others keep thinking without acting. Changes scare me a lot. My determination helps me get what I really want but it also keeps me trying until I'm broken. I can't give up on anything or anybody I feel special about. Luckily, my heart and mind are so connected they usually agree. I am wild, extremely wild. I'm up for anything, I'd take any risk, whatever it is when I know it is worth it. I love spontaneity, travelling & nature. I am the most loyal friend you can make. I never lie, it would be like killing myself. I insist too much....I can sense things that others can't - I call it super power. I am always willing to do anything for love. When I am down....I am tremendously depressed. I need high doses of affection and attention. I read eyes to know what people have in their minds. I may not approve what you do but I will never ever judge you.
I could keep going but I am sure you will get a picture of me if you keep reading my posts. I am dealing with a very delicate and painful situation which was sweet as honey and magical like my dreams...My posts will be about my sweets memories from the past, my present which I take as it comes, my future which is fed by my imagination...my life.

This is a text I wrote some days ago and it is based on my sweet memories, true story for sure. I can't go a day without thinking of those moments...my whole body knows how special we could be together and despite I try...I don't want to move on and surrender. You know, when the world says 'Give up. What has he done for you? He doesn't care anymore, don't you see it?", hope whispers "Just wait, he will realize how much he misses you. He will put your magic connection before anything else. He is not dorky, he is a warrior at heart just like you. Give him some time even if it hurts and always be there for him. You both are special".

"Are you spontaneous?" he asked her, not knowing how pure her heart was, how wild her love could get to be, how courageous she was, how blindly she believed in magic. "Sure!" she replied. For him it was going to the beach, an unplanned 4 hours drive. No bookings. No place to stay in. If she was asked about spontaneity...she would surely say: "Let's meet halfway, just take the next flight to Paris & I will show you how healthy madness can get to be. Let's eat crêpes - a cheat meal for sure! - & let ourselves go for once. I won't ever hurt you. We can live every moment to the fullest. I can make you laugh every day. You will know what it feels like to be loved beyond words".
She would imagine and dream about so many beautiful situations...she could almost feel his touch, figure out what he smelled like & think of his body pressed against hers. She would put spontaneity into practise in a heartbeat if he asked her to. Just for once in a lifetime. Her inner sparkle helped her to believe against all odds in their magical connection. She got weaker with hard times and his mixed signals but kept refusing to give up on him. She would break down every day but she had an angel in heaven watching over her she used to call grandpa who lifted her up. She would just resign to be his friend, not just another one but that one you talk to & share your thoughts with. She did not really want to lose him. Magic is so hard to find and so was it going to be for her to surrender. Sometimes she felt he had lost all the interest but her day to day life kept sending signals she just could not ignore. All she needed was to know what was in his mind and what he felt about her...to eventually find peace.

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